How to Introduce Fetish to Your Partner
The meaning of fetish truly runs the spectrum for what turns someone on. MerriamWebster defines fetish as an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression. As the definition suggests, a fetish can run anywhere from A – Z and almost anything can be “fetishized.” Everyone is different in his or her sexual desire and there is nothing wrong with testing the waters in the wide world of fetish to experiment with what really gets one hot and bothered. There is a whole domain out there to be explored, and we encourage you to get their kink on!
The stats say that nearly 75 percent of people openly admit to having some type of unique sexual fantasy. Listing every single fetish out there would be quite the undertaking, but there are some fetishes that are more common than others. Some of the more recognizable ones include foot worship, spanking, voyeurism, exhibitionism, role-playing, swinging, water sports (think “golden shower”) and the more commonly known BDSM. The acronym BDSM is a catch all for a combination of the abbreviations B/D (Bondage and Discipline), D/s (Dominance and submission) and S/M (Sadism and Masochism).
Remember that sex is not always a part of fetishism. Fetishes can be enjoyed solo, with a partner or even with multiple partners. There are several online networking sites that cater to helping people find other people that are into the same fetishes. Websites like fetlife.com, fester.com or kinklovers.com can help. There are so many out there, we don’t have space to list them all. It is just important to reassure your partner that there are accessible resources for them as they are discovering what turns them on.
The first step in finding your kinky side is to be friendly and open with your partner when showing interest in a particular fetish. Let them know that it is absolutely okay for them to discuss openly with you what it is they may want to try with you. If they are feeling nervous, remind them that we all have different quirks and tastes when it comes to sexual appetite and personal desire and that whatever it is that they are into, it really is okay and normal. If they have a particular fetish, it is pretty safe to assume that there are others out there that share the same desire.
Remember that communication is key. You should not be afraid to open up about what you would like to explore. This can make you feel vulnerable to judgment or rejection. However, no one is a mind reader, so it’s important to talk with your partner. Take baby steps and do research on the kinks you and your partner would like to initiate. And be sure they don’t forget to implement a safe word! The most common mistake is to dive into the deep end before you are knowledgeable and ready.
Do not be afraid of being imperfect. When someone is inexperienced it is so easy to have the fear of “doing it wrong” or feeling “silly.” Being imperfect is totally okay because no one is perfect! If you are aiming for perfection it can leave you feeling anxious and tense. There is no way to be kinky when you are feeling that way. While there are expectations, not everyone will be at the same level in the beginning.